And Yet by Heaven
by Saturn Knight
Summary: After all is said, doubt begins to cast it's shadow. Will this ruin everything? Star Crossed, part 2.


Your friendly neighborhood Saturn Knight here again. I got a little better response to "Star Crossed," so, this is the follow up to it. This story, and plot idea, are courtesy of Silver Angel Mako. And of course, dedicated to her. Oh, and be on the look out for part 3 coming whenever I have the muse. Enjoy.  
  
"And yet by Heaven."  
  
As the sun broke the clouds, shining it's caressing rays down on the earth below, and as the birds began to call in gratitude to the life giving warmth, Tomoe Hotaru opened her eyes. A long inhale followed, as well as a deep stretch, but the apex of her motion offered her a sharp jolt of pain from her mistreated appendage. Gingerly sitting up, careful to be as silent as she could to avoid waking Chibi-Usa who was laying asleep next to her, the raven haired girl unwrapped the ACE-bandage she wore as a temporary brace. Her movements were very slow and deliberate, the increasing amount of slack curled up in her moving palm while the alligator clips were held firmly between her teeth. Those things always walked away when you weren't looking.  
What lay beneath drew a low, regretful sigh from the girl as she viewed the damage she'd done in her fit of anger. "At least it was to myself..." Hotaru thought while a perfect finger traced the deeply bruised flesh that had swollen by at least half it's original size. "I hope it's not broken..." Her thoughts continued as she turned her hand to inspect the rest of the injury. Finding no obvious bumps, other than swelling, that would indicate a bone displaced and against the muscle and skin, it appeared to be just muscle injury. Deciding to wrap the injured limb once more to avoid aggravating the already painful limb, Hotaru leaned her back against Chibi-Usa's headboard and began to concentrate on the task at hand.  
The movement caused the blanket wrapped, lightly snoring girl beside Hotaru to stir. Realizing this, Hotaru's motions quickly ceased until she heard steady breathing coming from beneath the mound of bedding to her side. Once she was satisfied that Chibi was asleep, she resumed wrapping her arm as best the circumstances would allow. Just as Hotaru had placed the second alligator clip onto the end of the bandage, something caught her attention. She couldn't remember some of the previous night.  
Did she have a seizure? No... that wasn't it. Besides her wrist, she wasn't in any kind of pain that results from her condition. She'd have to ask Chibi when she woke up what happened. Turning her eyes down to the bed beside her, something else struck Hotaru as odd. Normally, she would sleep on the floor beside the other girl's bed and often get very little sleep because of it. But now, she felt rested and comfortable not achy and groggy from tossing and turning. Why was she in Chibi's bed?  
Hotaru would get her answer faster than she thought, since not too long after she began to wonder about her peculiar placement, the only one who could tell her what happened awoke. A yawn issued from the bed-lump, followed by a low groan and a mumbling that Hotaru couldn't understand. This drew a set of violet irises down onto the blanket covered body, and even though Hotaru wanted to keep Chibi comfortable and let her rest, the missing time in her mind drove the conscious girl to lightly shake at the sleeping one.  
A groan of protest followed, a hand pushing back at Hotaru's to remove it from the groggy body. "Chibi-Usa...." came the dark haired girl's soft plea, then came another shake of her friend, this time Chibi's eyes opened and though squinted with sleep and from the attack from the sun, they viewed Hotaru.  
"What's wrong?" Came the worried reply, expecting something to be awry since Hotaru always let her sleep as late as she wanted. Strands of pink hair were glued by the pressure of a head on a pillow, creases from the same phenomenon also appeared on Chibi's face. As the sheets were pushed away by a small, pink-nailed hand, the smaller girl's bunny print pajamas were revealed to the world as their owner sat up and looked the more coherent girl over for injury or distress.  
"Nothing..." Hotaru said first, to help calm her friend's nerves, as she could sense the anxiousness. The view of Chibi's sleeping clothes caught Hotaru's attention, causing to look down to see what she was wearing. She was in her nightgown. That made Hotaru wonder, as she didn't remember changing, and as her uninjured appendage reached for the small bit of lace that adorned the front collar of the simple black-cloth gown. "Chibi..." This was starting to worry her, since if she was starting to black out again.... "What happened last night....? How did I get in my nightgown and on your bed...?" Hotaru's answer would have to wait, however, since Chibi was already squirming out of the bed and headed to the bathroom. Not wanting to wait, Hotaru stood as well, though her legs were a little shaky as she'd not used them for hours, and made her way over to her overnight bag that was sitting upon Chibi's dresser. Only having one hand to work with, the slender digits worked open the zipper and pulled out her medicine box. It was full of bottles, measuring devices, tubes, canisters, even a syringe or two sealed tightly in a protective box with bright red markings speaking of emergency use only.  
Seeing the bottle she was looking for, she retrieved it from the rest of the medications and manipulated as best she could with one hand until it opened. Pouring the pills out onto the dresser, she quickly counted them by twos and put them back in the bottle. None were missing, so she didn't need to take any after a seizure. She had almost been hoping it was that, since that was an already known condition and was more or less benign if she had someone around to help her through it. Sighing quietly, the girl returned the bottle to the medicine box and the box to her bag. No sooner had she zipped it up than a groggy Chibi-Usa shuffled her way into the room and back to the bed where instead of laying down again, as usual, she sat. "Chibi? What happened...?" Hotaru couldn't wait anymore. She had to know if her blackouts were returning.  
"Eh? Oh..." the red irised girl yawned and began speaking through her yawn, but realizing Hotaru couldn't understand her began again once it had passed. "Well... after you hurt your hand..." Chibi's face soon masked with guilt, feeling it was her fault for the damage done to Hotaru's body, "You... you told me that you loved me, and...." Though the guilt was almost overwhelming, the knowledge that her best friend was in love with her broke through the sadness and brought a smile to her face, which increased after she saw Hotaru's faint blush. "And....and I told you that I loved you too..." This kind of made Chibi-Usa squirm, the bunnies on the pajamas seeming to be doing a little dance from the sheer amount of fidgeting that Chibi was doing, "Then you kinda looked at me happy before you... umm...." "Before I....?" The suspense of what happened was starting to gnaw harder at Hotaru. Black-outs were never a good thing with anyone, but with Hotaru's history they could be catastrophic.  
"You kinda fainted..." Chibi answered after a moment's silence, having no real way to phrase it differently. "You looked up at me and smiled, then your eyes rolled back in your head and you plopped down on my bed." The nervous smile on her face and the fidgeting stopped, the once squirming young girl growing serious, "You really scared me... I ran and got Usagi, but she just said you fainted and it'd be ok when you woke up, so just to get you into bed..." The way Chibi-Usa led off made her friend believe she wasn't getting the whole story. It explained why she was in the bed, but not how she got changed.  
"How did I....?" Hotaru didn't need to finish the thought, the direction of her eyes down to view her nightgown said everything. The thought of Usagi, or worse someone else, seeing her undressed to put on her nightclothes mortified the pale girl, causing her to cover her face with her hands. It caused a jolt of pain in the injured limb, making her bite her bottom lip to avoid letting out any kind of sound.  
"Oh. That's.. Umm..." More stuttering from the bunny-clad runt while she looked for a way to answer Hotaru without further pushing the embarrassment she was clearly already feeling, "I kind of had to put you in it." Feeling she needed to explain herself, lest she invoke an unfavorable reaction from the already fiercely blushing girl, she very quickly added, "Your tights were dirty and you were still in your big sweater and your skirt was kinda dusty too and your shoes were still on and the sheets were clean and I didn't want you to be uncomfortable and I didn't think you'd want to sleep in your clothes anyway it'd be too hot under the covers and you'd get caught on them when you sleep and..." Having to pause to draw a long breath, not realizing she rambled such a long sentence. Before she could continue, she caught Hotaru's eyes peeking at her through her fingers.  
"You did it...?" Came the muffled question, the words silenced both by Hotaru's hands and the ACE bandage that faithfully, albeit a little sloppily, acted as the brace that kept her from too much aggravation to the injury.  
"Yeah..." The soft reply was offered, a set of red irises viewing their owners bare feet. "I just thought..." She didn't have the chance to finish since the other girl's uninjured hand softly set itself on her shoulder.  
"Thank you. I wouldn't have slept very well." The hand slid down Chibi's shoulder to her back where it was pressed to pull the smaller one's body into Hotaru's for a quick hug. "I'm just glad I only fainted... I... I don't want to think about what would have happened if..." A sharp chill ran down Hotaru's spine, her eyes tightly clenched shut, a pronounced shudder soon following. There was no need to finish the thought, they both knew full well what could have happened. A comforting hand was placed against her cheek, causing her to open her eyes and view Chibi looking up at her.  
"It's ok now.. You don't have to worry about that anymore." It wasn't simply words of comforting Chibi was voicing, but something stronger. An oath. "I won't let anything bad happen to you... I promise."  
  
A quick trip to the doctor landed Hotaru in both a sling and a rigid brace. The sling itself was made out of a black cloth body which covered both sides of the arm completely over the hand. It also covered the majority of Hotaru's chest, though it was only her right hand that was damaged. The ends of the cloth were covered in the same black canvas as the padded strap was, to make the seams stronger. An unusual color choice, the doctor had noted, since most girls her age chose brighter, more cheerful colors. He didn't know Hotaru very well.  
On the quiet car ride home, Haruka doing the driving, the young girl stared down at the new devices with a bit of distaste. She'd have to learn to be more careful. Nothing like that had ever happened to her before. Anger had always been a normal part of her life, just as was with anyone, but the sheer ferocity of her jealousy shocked her. It also made her feel a little guilty, and even ashamed, of the negative and selfishness of her emotions. Hotaru's violet stare looked past the faint reflection of herself in the glass to the sky above. A few, wispy white clouds were strung randomly through the sky, offering a bit of reprieve from the sun's well meaning, though sometimes overbearing rays.  
"At least it matches your clothes," Chibi quietly whispered to her from the seat beside her, a slender finger extending to trace along the end of the sling's strap. The sudden sound of a voice in the quiet of the car caused Hotaru to turn her head toward the one next to her. Chibi was trying to make Hotaru feel better, and make it not seem so bad, though it was having very little effect on her or Haruka. The statement got nothing more than weak smile and a nod before the melancholy gaze found it's way once more up into the heavens.  
Haruka's own eyes viewed the pair through the rear view mirror as they came to a slow halt at a stop-light. She was too worried about Hotaru's condition to see the way Chibi-Usa was staring at her adopted daughter. The woman was more troubled than she let on, not wanting to get them concerned with her own feelings when Hotaru obviously had a lot to deal with.  
"Whaddaya wanna do when we get home?" A soft voice asked the distracted Hotaru, though only a shrug was it's reply, but she didn't give up. "Oh.... you sure you're doing ok?" This time, it got nothing. Did Hotaru ignore her? No... Chibi didn't believe that was it, she couldn't fathom that happening. Not after what has gone on in the past few days. Plus, Hotaru seemed ok that morning whey they had been talking. "Hotaru?" "Hm?" Came the response, more out of reflex of hearing her name than a conscious decision, but at least it was something. "I'm sorry, what were you saying?" Now, she was talking. That was more like it.  
"I asked what you if you were ok, but you didn't answer me... what's wrong?" A worried Chibi-Usa looked at her friend with a growing concern.  
"I'm just a little out of it... the stuff they gave me when they did my arm made me a little groggy..." It was the truth, of course, but it wasn't the whole truth. She didn't want to tell Chibi that she felt that she'd never be good enough for her. That she'd never be able to be what she needed, or even wanted, in the long run. What if fate had something different in store for them? What if she was meant to be with Helios and there wasn't anything either of them could do about it. The sigh and head shake Hotaru offers next catches both Chibi-Usa and her adoptive father off guard.  
It was starting to trouble Haruka even more. Why was her daughter suddenly acting out? And so violently? It wasn't like Hotaru to do something like that...it was more like Miss-  
A loud honk of a horn tore Haruka's mind from the clouds and returned it to the driver's seat of the car, her foot instinctively moving from the brake to the accelerator. As they once more began to roll along the streets of the city, a set of eyes watched them from afar.  
  
Back into her room. Sanctuary. The dark drapes over the windows kept the vast majority of the light from ever seeing the interior of her room. As the two young girls entered the bedroom, it's owner turned on a few lamps to illuminate the darkness. Slumping afterward into a chair in front of her desk, a large amount of thick books atop the latter, Hotaru's good hand covered her face. She would have to talk about it soon, or she was going to explode.  
Haruka's voice soon was heard from outside the door, which was open, saying something about going out. Hotaru didn't really hear most of it, though she did catch Chibi's answer of "See you later then." More talk followed, none of it the quiet girl listened to. A hand on her knee caught her attention and she looked up. Haruka was gone. A quick shake of her head cleared the cobwebs and returned her to a semi-normal state. She didn't even realize the tears that had been flowing for some time down her cheeks. Apparently, neither did Chibi-Usa, since she seemed shocked to view Hotaru's tear stained face. Indeed, she'd been crying long enough to have wet the collar of her sweater.  
"What's wrong?" It seemed like Chibi was saying that very often recently, and didn't expect to have an answer given. Never hurt to try.  
"I..." Hotaru herself didn't even understand what was happening to her. "I..." It was now or never, "Do you think we've made a mistake?" The statement found it's way from her lips before she could even think about how to phrase it, or even know what she said. The pair of red irises on her averted towards the dark carpeting on the floor.  
"Do you really think that...?" Chibi sounded beyond hurt. After all that happened the night before, how could she say that? She refused to believe what Hotaru was saying was really what she thought was true. It couldn't be.  
"I... I don't know. It's..." Hotaru paused to consider how to continue, the tears still flowing down her cheeks, unheeded. "I... I want to believe that we're meant to be together, but what's going to happen when someone needs to take your place, like you'll take Usagi's? An heir." It terrified Hotaru to think that because of her the Moon Kingdom would be without a ruler.  
"Maybe the klutz and dad'll have another one and that one will have a kid too. Then I'm off the hook." Chibi's pink brow raised in thought, seeing a very easy way out of this. She trusted that Usagi and Mamoru wouldn't exactly quit after she was born. "Besides... what if this is the way it's supposed to happen? Maybe we're supposed to be together 'cus if they do have another one, maybe that one's gonna be the better queen?" It did make sense, that if fate was truly working here this may be the route it planned to take. "We did meet for a reason, 'Taru." This shortening of her name got a look from Hotaru. She'd never heard Chibi call her that before...Was it a pet name? Was she just trying to make her feel better?  
"Maybe you're right.... I... I guess it's possible too. I mean... when I told you, it was almost as if I didn't have a choice but to let you know how I felt..." The doubt in Hotaru's mind slowly began to fade, partially because it did seem to make sense, but more so because she wanted to believe it. Her uninjured hand reached out to set itself atop Chibi's, which rested on her knee. The smooth, warm feel of her friend's skin made her feel much better. The red irises which stared at Hotaru looked on her with complete adoration and love. Noticing this look, Hotaru averted her gaze, sheepish, with a soft blush to her tear streaked face. At least they'd stopped flowing.  
"Do I embarrass you?" Chibi asked quietly, not changing the loving gaze, instead leaning a little closer so her chin rested on Hotaru's knee.  
"No..." comes the answer, "It... it's the way you used to look at Helios..." Her heart fluttered in her chest, this was real. This wasn't just an ambiguous look, or a long hug that she could convince herself was a sign of a greater affection. This was love. Though her blush grew in intensity, she returned her eyes to view the other girl directly. She couldn't help but burst into giggles. The sound was music to Chibi's ears, now knowing Hotaru was ok.  
"I do love you Hotaru... very, very much..." said a grinning Chibi-Usa as she looked up at her love, but had a question. "Umm... 'Taru? Does this make us... a couple?" It was her turn to blush and turn her head away. A few moments of silence followed, but the pink haired girl soon felt a soft hand gently coaxing her chin up so her eyes would once more meet Hotaru's.  
"It makes us anything we want to be... you'll always be my best friend, no matter what we become..." The smooth, velvety feel of Hotaru's palm and fingers ran over her friend's cheek, their owner delighting in the way it caused Chibi's eyes to close. "I want to be... if you do..." "Mm....hmm...." The answer had a pause between syllables, as Chibi was very distracted by the feel of the fingers on her face to do much in the way of coherent thoughts, much less speech. Her face grew warmer under Hotaru's fingers, the blush increasing the temperature of her skin.  
"Ok...." Hotaru whispered very quietly, her hand ceasing it's motion along Chibi-Usa's cheek, cupping the warmth affectionately. 'My girlfriend...' The raven-haired girl thought to herself, never believing she'd be able to say that with complete honesty and accuracy. Not an illusion of her own mind. Not something she tortured herself with, the thought so longed for, so close, but not something she ever thought she could have. The smile that spread across her face was that of pure joy, her heart pounding in her chest so hard she feared it would leap out. And if it did, that was fine with her.  
  
She had what she'd always wanted.  
  
She could die right then and there.  
  
She'd already found heaven. 


End file.
